Did you know in America alone roughly 1 million marriages end in divorce? That’s like every person in the state of Delaware (of legal marrying age) getting divorced!
How many of those marriages could be saved though? For the couples who won the battle to save there marriage, there are no statistics. “Statistics are stories with the tears washed off” as said by Marian Wright Edelman.
Is your marriage saveable? If your marriage is in trouble, doing nothing will certainly make it fail. Saving your marriage will require effort.
These four simple steps could help save your marriage and you can begin now! Note they are “simple” but not necessarily “easy.” They will put you on a path to change the outcome of your troubled marriage.
Here are the 4 steps:
1. Blame no one!
Don’t blame yourself and don’t blame your spouse. Marriages get stuck in this blame cycle and there is no room to fix things.
Pointing the finger at someone else and saying “It’s their fault.” is so much easier. But in a marriage, it takes two and it just as easily could be your fault.
Blaming someone else for an issue might make you feel good for a little while but the problem doesn’t go away. But blame won’t fix your marriage it will just make things worse.
2. Realize the issue
See the situation for what it is and decide to change it by taking action.
This isn’t blame it’s looking at things as they are. What could be changed to make things better?
Don’t be afraid to change. Making different choices to try and save your marriage doesn’t mean it’s your fault, it means you are taking responsibility to try and fix things.
3. Do your research
You aren’t the first to try and save your marriage and you certainly won’t be the last. Seek for expert help. They have the experience and the outsider’s perspective.
Every situation is different but the main issues will be similar.
“The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them. – Albert Einstein.” As the genius said, you cannot solve a problem with the same strategies that caused the problem. A fresh perspective will give you a new way of thinking.
4. Make moves
Do nothing and your marriage will surely fail. Don’t get caught in the “analysis paralysis” as therapists refer to it, the analyzing and overthinking of situations that cause you to not take action at all. If you want to figure things out, you have to do something.
Think about what might be the issue and then do something! You can’t think your problems away, you have to take action to solve them.
Is your marriage salvageable? Do nothing, then no. Taking action and working towards the above steps will give you a higher chance of saving your marriage. As the age old saying goes, marriage takes two, but one person’s actions can make or break a marriage as well.
Can you see a future ahead, then take action!